35 People With Autism Discuss The Strange Things Non-Autistic People Do
22. PRETENDING TO BE NICE
“Acting ‘fake,’ especially pretending to be nice/friendly to someone when they really hate their guts and will talk shit about them behind their back. One time I was with a group of people having a seemingly nice conversation, and when two of the people left the remaining two were like, ‘Ugh, I can’t stand her. That was so awkward lol.’ I was shocked, as I hadn’t picked up on the hostile air at all I can’t do it myself—if I’m nice to someone, it’s because I actually like them (or at least they haven’t done anything bad as far as I know). If I don’t like a person I’ll just avoid interacting with them as much as possible so as not to be rude in case what I’m thinking slips out 😛 This is also frustrating because it makes me worry sometimes that people who are nice to me are just pretending for whatever reason and actually hate me. TvT”
23. DOUBLE STANDARDS
“Context-sensitive double standards.
When you do it, it’s bad. When they do it, it’s okay.
Why? Explain please. If it’s okay for you to do this, why is it not okay when I do the same thing?
Here’s a more personal example. We had a rule between “Tattling” and “Telling”. “Telling” was okay, because you were telling on someone out of concern for their wellbeing (i.e. “Mom Mom Timmy’s playing on the well you told him not to”), whereas “Tattling” was telling on someone to get them in trouble. (“Mom Mom Timmy hit me”)
When my sister made this really really mean “Opening Night” play about me, and I told on her, I was in trouble for “Tattling”, because I was telling on her for doing something mean and I was trying to get her in trouble.
But when I went on a deleting spree on my sister’s Neopets account, and she told on me, I asked why she never got in trouble for telling on me – because according to the rules, “that was tattling. She did it to get me in trouble.”
Apparently, because I “did something very mean and intended to hurt her”, that was not tattling. And yet when I told on my sister for doing something very mean intended to hurt me (i.e., writing that play), it was “tattling”? Explain, mom and dad Explain
If it’s “When you do it, it’s bad”, then again… I wanna know why.”